FamilyFire

In current times, more and more people are pooling their resources together and living with extended family members.  Some of the reasons include financial assistance, childcare, and providing care for elderly or sickly family members.  Whatever the reason, living with one’s family can be a… (more)

The trappings of Christmas are falling away.  Trees droop.  Needles fall.  It is time to pack up our ornaments and wrap up our garland and set our living rooms right for the year ahead.  As we clear the clutter of this season away, what else… (more)

With the beginning of the holiday season comes many complications for those of us who come from blended families.  The painful memories and uncertain expectations can turn what might be a joyous occasion into a time of tumult and hurt.  Before these days are upon… (more)

As I wandered through the aisles of holiday decorations, I imagined a vision of our finely decorated home. I walked past harvest pumpkins and strings of lights, turkey statues and decorated tablecloths. It was easy to believe that getting ready had much to do with… (more)

I once met a young man who insisted marriage ought to be a 50/50 relationship. He dug into his position, and would not listen to my counter-arguments. Each spouse must contribute half, he said, or the deal is off. He was convinced that any other… (more)

Sex is an important part of God's plan for marriage. God wants you to enjoy and celebrate your spouse sexually. This perspective on sexuality came as a surprise to a couple we were counseling as they entered their second marriage. They had both come to… (more)

Nobody enters marriage expecting to divorce. Divorce was not in God's initial plan either. When the Pharisees came to Jesus to try to get him to pick a side in the when-is-it-okay-to-divorce debate,  Jesus redirects them back to the beginning. In Matthew 19, he quotes… (more)

If money spent is an indication of value, you would think that, for most, the wedding is much more important than the marriage. Any of the TV wedding shows display ridiculous amounts of money going into a spectacular ceremony and party. Every bride wants her… (more)

I grew up with the idea that anger was a bad thing. I understood that it was sinful to be angry with God. But the Bible never tells us that anger is bad. As an adult reading the psalms, I came to understand the healthiness… (more)

We can get so bent out of shape arguing about Biblical roles for husband and wife. If we find these teachings too confusing, how about just looking at how God said we should treat one another? The Bible uses the phrase “one another” often and… (more)

Have you ever had a big argument over a small matter? An explosion over a late dinner or another empty toilet-paper roll? We argue about trivial things because they represent bigger, more emotional issues. Too often we argue about the details and never quite get… (more)

Blended families come together with unique challenges. The success rate for blended families is very poor with a failure rate of 60-75%. Although much of this is related to unfinished business in previous relationships, some of this is undoubtedly related to the stress of blending… (more)

Intimacy has several facets, or doors. In every relationship, we open those doors a certain amount as we build trust with one another. We might think of four doors of intimacy, physical, intellectual, emotional, and spiritual, that are all connected. We continually open each one… (more)

Forgiveness is a gift to our selves. By withholding forgiveness, the one we hurt most is ourselves. The offender may not even know that we are angry with them. They may not care if they do know. We merely hold ourselves hostage to our own… (more)

There are lots of ideas about what forgiveness is and isn’t. This is what forgiveness is not. Forgiveness is not pretending that it never happened. Forgiveness does not mean ignoring the offense, and pain, and damage involved. That is denial, not forgiveness. Forgive and forget… (more)

What is the purpose of marriage anyway? Marriage seems so risky--does it really have value for our society?  Does scripture speak on the value of marriage? Here's a few reasons God thinks marriage is a good idea: For reflecting the image of God. Genesis 1:27 “In… (more)

Month after month, studies paint a bleak picture of the state of marriage in our culture. Marriages have become disposable. When my marriage no longer benefits me, or if I no longer feel the romance, I can ditch the relationship--it's not worth the effort.  Living together… (more)

Intimacy is not the same as sex.  We often use intimacy as a sexual euphamism, but it is much richer. Intimacy is indeed about the closeness and vulnerablility we offer one another, a kind of nakedness so to speak, but also includes spiritual, intellectual, and… (more)

Taking corners at 27mph can be an exhilarating and frightening proposition. My husband has topped out our tandem speed at 55 mph. That is a scary speed on the back of the bike when you cannot see what lies ahead. Our tandem does not normally… (more)

But I TOLD you all about it, I explained it in detail! How can you not remember? Have you ever said this? You recall spelling out all the details, but somehow the message never made it through. We all have stories of misunderstandings. Sometimes they're… (more)

This article was first published in ThinkChristian. I ran across an article from RNS reporting in the first ten years it was available, only 1% of couples getting married chose a government-defined “covenant” marriage over a “regular” marriage. Apparently in Louisiana (and also Arizona and… (more)

This article first appeared at ThinkChristian. One of the insider jokes over at Think Christian is that one of the top-visited posts even now—month after month, consistently in the top five—is several years old. Consistently, search engines lead people to Think Christian to discover “Hot… (more)

We’ve often heard it said: “Good fences make good neighbors.” We need to set good boundaries in many places, and one of the most significant is with parents and in-laws. We all have emotional connections to our parents.  How our parents handled difficulties and how… (more)

In marriage, as we grow closer together as we grow closer to God. Many couples are uncomfortable with praying together because prayer creates an emotional nakedness. But this spiritual vulnerability is a powerful tool for building intimacy in marriage. Prayer connects us intimately before God.  As we… (more)

1. No Winning: We seek not to win victory over our spouse, but to build the relationship. Placing blame and being right might make you feel better, but it doesn’t build anything between you. -Eph 5.28 Husbands ought to love their wives as their own… (more)